Single mom of two dating
Before you proceed, there are some things you need to know, both to preserve your sanity and ego as well as hers.
But, albeit all your other intentions, you’ve met one and you like her. So, let’s assume for the sake of this article that you’ve moved past the novelty of nailing a “milf” (a stupid yet totally relevant word), and have begun to wrap your brain around and perhaps even embraced that this great girl comes with some, er… (I think “baggage”, no matter the negative connotations it brings, is the term), and you’re okay with the kids, minimal time to herself, baby daddy and most likely an ex that will be in her life forever, part of it all.
And also, help you both to build a relationship in which this works. If you’re questioning my qualifications to be speaking about this.
Just so you know, I have been on BOTH sides of this challenging, yet shiny coin.
I have been the girlfriend to a man with a baby (and all that goes with THAT).
We made it through to the other side, had a couple of children of our own, then decided we were not meant to be together after all and now, 5 years later, I’m a single mother with two kids under the age of 8.
Not only that, but I have a circle of single mom friends AND a few really good male friends who are dating, still looking for the one and are finding that a LOT of the best girls they’re meeting out there, have belonged to someone else before and has a kid or two or three (I know one with four. Okay, so you may have dated a lot of women, you may have grown up with sisters or pride yourself in being a gentleman that knows his game.
I implore you to drop all previous learned dating ingenuity and approach her authentically and with unadulterated intentions. it doesn’t even have to promote a back n’ forth about your day. This said, never underestimate the power of a good text. But, unless you have an unusual circumstance; like a big job changing presentation due, your mother passed away or the world has literally fallen onto your shoulders, your busy is nothing compared to her busy. However, a good single mother will nurture the shit out of you while you’re stressed. So, when you ask about the kids, make it in relation to her.Women are easy prey at night (Don’t yell at me ladies, I don’t mean it like that), but you get the text right and at the right moment, you could find yourself in a surprising, pretty intense round of sexting. I know that texting is not ideal and most men don’t see it as women do, which is a conversational platform. Do not complain about how busy or stressed you are. Chances are, she’s got everything going on that you have going on, yet when you’re day ends, her second (maybe third) job begins. Ask questions about their personality or who has her eyes.I know that texting has it’s downfalls; misread words, auto text, misinterpreted tone, but it’s important you understand that texting will most likely be a significant part of your relationship with a single mom. Please understand that this is not just a physically draining activity (drop-offs, pick-ups, sports, music, playdates, snack shopping, doctors appointments, lunch packing, dinner making, homework monitoring, bath time and a bedtime routine) that she does in addition to working full time, bettering herself, keeping friendships, keeping in contact with family, working out, putting gas in the car, laundry, dishes and now maintaining you, but is also a total emotional cluster fuck of worries, concerns, guilt, sensitivity and doubt (to name a few), all the while trying to raise human beings to not be total assholes (hopefully). If she tells you a story about one of them, maybe something they said or did at school, listen to her and try to see it through her eyes.Time with her may be scattered and unpredictable, babysitters are expensive, your schedules may leave you unable to see each other for much more than a coffee for weeks at a time. No, but get over it and embrace this new relationship via your fingertips and to avoid any miscommunication, remember “K. At the risk of playing the martyr, nothing is more annoying then hearing, “Ecch! No one wants to hear stories about other peoples kids. For me, no one was allowed to meet them unless I felt that this person was here to stay, at least for a long while anyway. But, if she finds herself feeling insecure or played or is questioning your intentions, I’m willing to bet, she will walk. She doesn’t have time to evaluate every little thing you say or every text you send and if she does, it will take away from her being present with her kids and she will walk.I’m SO stressed out, I didn’t get to the gym today for a swim and now I’m late to meet my buddies for a drink after work”. It’s boring and obnoxious and usually most kids are only cute to their parents, but if you care about this girl, you may find yourself caring about the things that are important to her. Allowing someone to not only enter my children’s lives is huge, but mostly it was about allowing someone to see that part of me, which is as vulnerable as I could get. How do you stay who you are to your kids WHILE including someone else? Show you care about her by saying, “Id love to meet your kids”, or better yet, “Can I take you and the kids to the arcade and pizza? On the flip side, for you this may be a breath of fresh air.
Maybe she’s trying to save the Dolphins as well and now you look for information on the slaughter in Taiji. Meeting the kids can be one of those awkward times. ” I would imagine as a guy, you will wait for her to ask you, but there’s an insecurity there that maybe you don’t want to. Whatever skill set you have and have used in the first three months of dating a girl I’m sure has worked beautifully in the past. I think it’s fair to say, that a woman with children has some experience with men. She may surprise you with how cool she is, how understanding she is knowing how things can come up and plans change.