Reasons why online dating is bad
You have heard of them all, I’m sure: e Harmony, Tinder, Christian Mingle, Plenty of Fish, Delightful, Coffee Meets Bagel . But as the years went by, and I saw friends pioneer their way into tender dating relationships and even marriages via the Web, I began to change my tune on the topic. But more than that, I want someone who complements me, who will love me in spite of my flaws, and who will challenge me to be a better person.
They seem pretty foolproof and even destined for success. For a long time, without ever giving it a shot, I maintained that online dating was decidedly not for me. at least, not the way I was (and others were) using it. Sure, I would be totally okay with marrying a dashingly handsome man who is wildly successful, charming, and works at a soup kitchen in his spare time.
So many websites promise a shot at love and boast sky-high success rates. boundaries on my search, my parameters were actually too narrow and closed off to the possibility of finding love in unexpected places.
The turning point for me came when a friend and once-stalwart opponent of online dating created a Tinder profile for himself. That's a difficult thing to capture in an online dating for the sake of your loved one.
Much of what I saw online were single men and women with a laundry list of qualifications for their ideal partner—a trap I all too easily fell in to.
Online dating means navigating a slew of qualifications to specify for others and have others specify against or for you.
So, if you are online, don't get caught up on crossing off a checklist or finding someone that may only exist in your head.
Yes, there are some points on which men and women should never compromise when it comes to relationships.
But online dating became a drag because too many profiles felt like The Airing of Grievances from the "Festivus" episode in One gentleman that comes to mind, whose occupation ironically was listed as "troublemaker," said he appreciates a date who "says thank you to the wait staff and leaves her phone in her purse." While I appreciate the sentiment, this and other profiles I often encountered felt like people were resentful of their past experiences rather than open to exploring the future.
It seemed like a lot of unnecessary negativity to be dealing with when I wanted to remain upbeat and hopeful about meeting someone great.
If negativity is getting to you, it's not a bad thing to log out and come up for air.
Ask friends to put on a dinner party with eligible men or set you up on a blind date.
Oh, and gentlemen, stay upbeat in your profiles rather than offering backhanded compliments to the opposite sex.